Commercials

With the Summer Olympics just a few weeks away, I am very concerned about what Madison Avenue has in store for us. You likely don’t recall, but I have been openly critical about some television advertising in the past, and have bestowed the dreaded DUMBASS (Designating Underachievement in Marketing By Advertisers Selling Stuff) Award upon deserving companies all across the land.

Some previous winners include:

Ford Motor Company, for showing that the brakes on their trucks were so strong that they could actually stop an airplane. That’s important because you just never know when you’ll be driving down the road and need to stop an airplane...

Chevrolet, for their inane commercial showing a jogger repeatedly running into a parked car. No “snarky” comment is required here…

Dodge, for showing us that their trucks are so tough that they can withstand a pummeling from a Rockem-Sockem robot. for those of you who aren't old enough to remember, Rockem-Sockem robots are plastic toys from the 1970’s…

This weeks DUMBASS Award medal winners are:

Bronze: Kentucky Fried Chicken has returned their “Whoa, didn’t see that coming” ad to the airwaves. I have to say that I too am often surprised when I bite into a hot wing and it tastes exactly like a hot wing...

Silver: Walmart for their “You can cash your economic stimulus check here, for free!” ad. Hmmmmm, I wonder if my bank knows about this? Wouldn’t that be great if banks started cashing checks for free, just like Walmart? Oh, wait, never mind…

Gold: Subway for using the term “Yum-rocket” to describe their sandwiches. Sounds like a line from a 70's porn movie. Not that that I ever actually saw one of those movies...

Stay tuned dear readers. I'm sure the Olympics will bring us even more ads to lampoon...