Sunday, July 4, 2010

Road Trip!

Okay, it was time…

Time for Mrs. Rogue and me to head west on an epic road trip.

Our planned itinerary had us going from Denver to the north shore of Lake Tahoe to Las Vegas to Moab and then home. Our actual itinerary took us from Denver to the north shore of Lake Tahoe to Las Vegas to Moab and then home. Let's face it, we engineers really don’t like it when the plans get changed…

Anyway, we left home on a bright sunny Wednesday morning, heading north to catch I-80 for the long trek west. I-80 is an easy drive, plus there is a whole lot of nothing to see in southern Wyoming. We were fortunate enough to see almost all of that nothingness. When we couldn’t stand it any longer we pulled off the highway in Rock Springs to grab some lunch. With all due respect to Rock Springers (Springites?), Rock Springs is quite possibly the least scenic town on the planet. It is surrounded by desolate, barren hills which open to the endless sagebrush of southwestern Wyoming.

The dining options were somewhat limited so we had the pleasure of dining in one of Rock Springs’ most elegant fast food establishments, where we witnessed the finest this fair city has to offer. There was the single mother of two trolling for husbands, and what a fine assortment she had to choose from - the two old-timers who must come out of the hills once a month for a bath and a burger, the sullen delivery truck drivers, or the brainiac working the register. It left the impression that education is an afterthought in Rock Springs…

Mrs. R hopped behind the wheel and quickly put Rock Springs behind us. She also thanked me for taking her to Rock Springs…



We stopped the first night in fabulous West Wendover, Nevada. This is a crazy place. Hotels and casinos just spring up, the instant you cross the state line. I did my part and contributed to the local economy by losing $10 in a slot machine that evening.

On Thursday we began the drive across Nevada. An aside here - by the end of our trip we had seen most of Nevada and I was surprised at the number of ranches that exist in the Silver State. Before we left Nevada, we had passed billboards for the Mustang Ranch, the Kit Kat Ranch, the Moonlite Bunny Ranch, Angel’s Ladies Ranch, and the Shady Lady Ranch. Although these are unusual names for ranches, the preponderance of these establishments reminded me that ranching is one of those iconic industries that made the American West what it is today…

Anyway, we arrived on the north shore of Lake Tahoe on Thursday afternoon. We were greeted by my cousin, Barb, who was standing in her driveway doing some kind of traditional Sierra Nevadan folk dance to welcome weary (wary?) travelers. Mrs. R and I knew right then that we were in for a fun weekend. Fortunately neither Barb, nor her husband Bob, ever asked us to dance; otherwise the weekend would’ve taken a turn for the worse.

We had a wonderful time in Lake Tahoe, spent some on the beach, made a brief stop at breathtaking  Emerald Bay State Park ,


visited my 89 year-old aunt who apologized because “this is the first year I haven’t been able to mow my own lawn.” We spent the warm sunny afternoons sitting on Barb and Bob’s deck, visiting, swapping lies, spinning yarns, and just relaxing.

Bob has a collection of air rifles, including an air machine gun. One afternoon Bob was nice enough to let me give it a try. I aimed for a tree, and I did hit a tree. I was kinda hoping for the same tree…

Another afternoon I found myself engaged in the curious activity of chipmunk fishing. Barb and Bob feed several chipmunks and ground squirrels off the back of their deck. They have developed this contraption, which consists of a line of rope that extends from the deck to a tree. Attached to the rope is a wire “cage” which holds an ear of corn. The object of the game is to slacken the rope and let the caged corn lie on the ground, and wait for a chipmunk/squirrel. Once the critter has gotten ‘hold of the cage you slowly take the slack out of the line and lift the critter off the ground. I had several interested parties, including one lil’ fella that used the rope as part of his high wire act…



In the evenings, Barb and I would take a walk around the neighborhood. They have some beautiful sunsets out there…


Barb and Bob were gracious hosts, and treated us like royalty. Thanks guys!

On Sunday we made the drive from Lake Tahoe to Las Vegas, stopping in Hawthorne for a picnic lunch that my cousin had thoughtfully prepared for us. Hawthorne, Nevada is home to the U.S. Army Ammunitions Depot and, interestingly enough, a detachment of the Naval Undersea Warfare Center. Did I mention that Hawthorne is in the middle of the desert? There is a nearby lake, Walker Lake, which has a maximum depth of 78 feet. I guess as long the undersea battle takes place in a shallow ocean, this whole thing makes sense…

We rolled into Las Vegas and immediately headed for the fabulous   Red Rock Resort . It’s located on the west side of town, several miles from the strip. Our room was on the 18th floor and we had a view of the strip, which is pretty spectacular at night. The Red Rock has a large casino, several great restaurants, a pool, movie theaters, a bowling alley and an area for outdoor concerts. Oh yeah, they have a spa, too. Mrs. R pampered herself one morning with a luxurious manicure. I spent that time losing about $80 in the casino. We almost opted for the spa’s “Couple’s Reconnection Package” but we were a little short of the $2000 price tag. At those prices, losing $80 seemed like a bargain.

Tuesday afternoon we made the obligatory visit to the strip, and had the obligatory lunch at Margaritaville .


In addition to that, I also did the obligatory gazing at the relative skills of Las Vegas’ finest plastic surgeons. Even though Nevada has been hard-hit by the recession, the implant business seems to be, ahem, in full bloom…

Later that night, we found ourselves downtown, on Freemont Street . Just us, and about 10,000 other people, a decent Eagles cover band, Desperado , an Elvis impersonator, and a couple of showgirls. Oh, and just so you don’t think I’m making that last part up, here’s the proof…


By Wednesday morning it was time to leave, but not before I took care of a little “bidness.” When I finished playing the day before, I walked away with a pay slip worth $0.95. That’s right folks, ninety-five big ones… I thought about cashing it in right then, but, because I’m a Big Time–Big Spender–Vegas kind of a guy, I thought I’d let the casino remain open one more night before they paid up and would have to shut down. Anyway, when the moment had finally arrived, I asked the Casino Manager for a security escort to the cashier. Instead, I was comped two bottles of water… Got my ninety-five cents though, every last penny of it…

We left Las Vegas heading northeast toward Moab. A few miles outside of St. George we got stuck in the worst traffic jam in the history of modern mankind… It took us 90 minutes to travel 4 miles, which equates to less than 3 miles an hour. This is somewhat slower than the posted 75 mph speed limit. It turns out that the contractor couldn’t figure out how to shut down one lane of traffic, causing chaos, including several overheated vehicles, a few near misses, and scores of angry motorists. Nice work Mr. Contractor. Are you from Rock Springs by any chance?

We spent Wednesday in Moab, well actually,  Arches National Park . This is a spectacularly beautiful place, and we are already making plans to return.


We finally made it to Casa del Rogue about 10:00 pm Thursday evening, tired, but the good kind of tired.

Road Trip tired…