Ok I’ll admit it; I’m a long time practitioner of the “Eat Whatever You Want, Don’t Exercise, and Still Lose Weight” diet. For some reason, this diet hasn’t worked for me, so I decided that it was time to change things up…
On Friday, I spent an hour or so getting the ol’ bicycle in working order (let me just say that I was exhausted after blowing the tires up, they’re much more difficult than balloons), checked out my helmet and gloves, and was all set for a nice ride on Saturday. Mother Nature, it turns out, was all set to provide some nice gale force winds on Saturday.
If you’ve been reading along closely, you’ll remember the part about the diet not working, which means I present a large surface area to the wind. I decided to head out anyway, because, well, I’m not really sure…
The first part of the ride, along the Highline Canal was a nice easy ride with the wind at my back pushing me along. On the trail I saw some deer, (both the 4-legged and, ahem, 2-legged varieties…) some cows (only the 4-legged variety), and watched a hawk soaring in (on?) the wind. After covering about 4-1/2 miles, I decided I should turn back and head for home.
I knew the ride back would be a bit of a challenge (“bit of a challenge” is code for “damn near impossible”) for an out-of shape 50-something riding uphill against the wind. As an extra added bonus, there was an unavoidable steep climb waiting about a mile from the end.
It was an interesting return trip; I discovered that it is actually possible to be pushed backwards by the wind while riding a bicycle. Oh, and I had to have a fourth-grader help me push my bike up the steep climb. Thanks Tommy!
I finally made it home, having covered the final two miles in a blazing 45 minutes, and then collapsed in a wheezing heap on the floor. After consuming about 40 liters of supplemental oxygen, I was able to crawl into the shower and revive myself.
Mrs. R, who had observed this entire unfortunate episode, decided it would be a good idea if we got a couple of those zero-gravity chairs for the patio. She had astutely determined that gravity was a big problem for me, and thought that any kind of zero-gravity device would be helpful.
Let me just say this about that, those zero-gravity patio chairs are perhaps the greatest invention since, well, non-zero-gravity patio chairs…
We set the chairs up in a shady spot, and spent the most of the afternoon just chillin’ in them. I also slept in mine. In fact, I haven’t left the chair for 19 hours.
This weightlessness thing is most excellent…
