Nextly, I’m not ashamed to admit it – I like curling. I have no idea what’s going on, what the strategy is, or how points are scored, but I find the sport(?) intriguing. I guess if I watched it more often than once every four years I might learn what it’s all about…
In keeping with the spirit of the games, it’s time to award some medals. Today’s categories are DUMBASS (Designating Under Achievement in Marketing By Advertisers Selling Stuff) and a new one, DIMS (Denoting Inane Mutterings about Sports).
Since Gold, Silver, and Bronze are already taken, we’ll use Tin and Aluminum.
So…
Receiving the Aluminum medal for DUMBASS is McDonald’s for their insipid commercial depicting two parents racing home, trying to be the first to deliver a Happy Meal to junior. Here’s an idea mom and dad, why don’t you race home from work and just cook a nice meal for the kid?
Winner of the coveted Tin DUMBASS is AstraZeneca LP for their inspired Symbicort ad which shows the silhouette of a woman with large pink or blue ellipses on her chest. The commercial wants you to believe these ellipses are her lungs. Well, I saw something like this in Vegas once; ok, twice, and the ellipses were most definitely not lungs…
The Aluminum DIMS winner is the announcer at the snowboard half-pipe competition who kept referring to a place called “CHREE-no.” Hmmm… The last Winter Games were held in a place called “to-REE-no.” You don’t suppose they were the same, oh, wait, never mind…
Although this next announcer is the winner of the Tin DIMS, he may also qualify for a lifetime achievement award. After the time for the first skier down the mountain in a women’s competition was posted, our medal winner breathlessly announced that the skier was “in first place.”
Yikes…
