The Suburban Rogue mid-Olympics report:1. The opening ceremonies were incredible, in spite of the digital dubbing of some of the fireworks and the lip-synching children.
2. Michael Phelps is a stud. It is possible that I have a man-crush on him. 
3. Dara Torres is amazing. Kinda makes you feel like a loser when you decide not to exercise because you’re forty and there was something good on TV…4. Fencing is a cooler than you might think. Congrats to the USA Women for sweeping the medal stand.
5. I’ve yet to see any horses in the pool with the water polo teams…
6. Jennie Finch can strike me out anytime…7. Arby’s gets the first week DUMBASS (Designating Underachievement in Marketing By Advertisers Selling Stuff) Gold Medal for their lame commercial “You mean I can get any 5 for $5.95.?” We get it Arby’s, we freakin’ get it…
8. Olympic Badminton bears little resemblance to the backyard barbecue game we’ve all played.
9. I refuse to watch Women’s Gymnastics. Because I’m an equal opportunity curmudgeon, I also refuse to watch Men’s Gymnastics.
10. As soon as they invent an Olympic Sport for out of shape pear-shaped men in their fifties, I’m going to get a job at Home Depot since they seem to have a lot of Olympians on their payroll...
Go USA!
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